A lovely, unexpected consequence of marrying my husband was that I gained another grandma.  In fact, I used to joke with him that I married him for his grandma.  I felt an instant connection with Lucile the moment we met, early on in my dating history with my husband. I was captivated by her Southern charm, her warmth, her keen intellect, curiosity and wit.

Soon after my husband and I got engaged, we asked Lucile to marry us.  At our wedding, she charmed everyone.  It’s fair to say she stole the show.

She passed away at the tail end of 2010.  And in 2011, we welcomed our daughter, Lucile, into the world.

I often reflect on the wisdom Lucile imparted that day, exactly eight years ago. In that spirit, I wanted to share an excerpt from the ceremony:

Two weeks ago, June 30th was the 67th anniversary of the day I married my husband.  We had a long and happy life together.  In many ways, we led a charmed life.  Of course there were trials and tribulations. That’s part of the human condition.  You lose people who are dear to you.  You have setbacks and disappointments.  But there are so many joys and delights.  And when you share them all with the one person you love most in the world, what else can you call it but a charmed life ?

If I have one bit of advice for you both, it is this: each of you should always do more than your share. Always go more than halfway.  I’ve known people who divided their married lives into, “this half mine, that half yours”.  But marriage is a sharing; not a loss of independence, not a total merging, but a sharing.

Let your love brim over the edges.  Let it flow and melt into each other’s life.  Don’t hold it back, don’t stick to your side.  Always go more than halfway, and love will meet you on the other side.


13 Comments on “Anniversary”

  1. dencie olson
    July 14, 2014 at 9:23 pm #

    That was lovely Heather, just like you!

  2. big sis
    July 14, 2014 at 11:41 pm #

    Happy 8th! I love this post– it’s a sweet remembrance of Lucile and your wedding day.
    Here’s to you and Buzzy and your charmed life. It is indeed. Overflowing your queen sized bed is just a metaphor for love!
    Thanks for the dinner date last night!
    big sis

    • hlspain
      July 15, 2014 at 7:09 am #

      Thank you, D! And thank you for being such a big part of it. And I love the queen bed metaphor. xoxo

  3. margaretspring
    July 15, 2014 at 4:46 am #

    Beautiful sentiment. I so clearly remember her saying this at your wedding. It was right when I was starting meditation – her straightforward logic made so much sense. In relationship to your dearest and giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. Thank you for sharing. I did cry a bit when I read it to Yann this morning. xo

    • hlspain
      July 15, 2014 at 7:29 am #

      Lovely – thanks for sharing, for being an important part of that special day. Miss you! xoxo

  4. brynnharrington
    July 15, 2014 at 7:56 pm #

    I love Buzzy’s grandmother too. Thanks so much for sharing — a great reminder to all of us. Happy Anniversary!

    • hlspain
      July 16, 2014 at 8:57 am #

      Thanks for reading and for the thoughtful comment, Brynn! She was pretty special.

  5. Candy Puterbaugh
    July 21, 2014 at 8:46 am #

    This is a bit of a belated comment, but I remember Lucile well and wished I could have gotten to know her. She had something special about her. Her words that you quoted are so beautifully stated and touching. I’m forwarding to Uncle Jim, who always does way more than half for me!

    • hlspain
      July 21, 2014 at 11:50 am #

      Thanks, AC! And thanks for helping to make it such a special day.

  6. kerry
    July 25, 2014 at 12:17 am #

    Absolutely gorgeous. Thank you for sharing!

    • hlspain
      July 25, 2014 at 12:38 pm #

      Grazie, Kerry! Love following your Italian adventure via FB!

  7. Eric Earle
    August 22, 2017 at 8:00 am #

    This is beautiful ! I didn’t know this is how Lucile got her name! Grandma Lucile sounds like quite the lady. I love her writings / thoughts on marriage.

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